And in other news . . .

The Dishwasher Alligator, previously thought to have been vanquished and no longer presenting a threat to anyone using the dishwasher, appears to have returned. While this alligator has never been seen, he is reported to be as much as 9 feet long, nasty of temperament, and liable to snap the limb off of anyone who reaches into the dishwasher. Despite assurances from authorities that there is no such thing, some residents are piling dirty dishes in the sink just to be safe, without even taking a chance on checking inside the dishwasher. No word on whether the alligator is in league with the Beast that Lives in the Basement, who prevents laundry from being done.